In 2010, I developed an itch.

To do something on my own!

When it grew strong, I simply quit from my job. I had no clue in life as to what I would do next.

There were a few sleepless days – driven by fear of going nowhere. However, the itch was bigger and helped me stay put.

Over the next few months,

• Tapprs happened.
• fear of not having a salary disappeared.
• fear of not being able to do something in life went away.

Things looked bright.

• Tapprs looked like the light at the end of the tunnel.
• We crossed 7 figure revenue in reasonably quick time.
• We resolved a fraud that had almost no information.
• We turned bolder.

The itch was different now. We were gung-ho about an all-India reach-out plan.

We never thought about anything during that period. If anything needed to be done, the question would be – how?

In May, after a lot of meetings with angels, investors and a ton of others, after receiving a barrage of feedback, brickbats and bouquets, plus noise, I started evaluating the company we were creating.

I would be lying if I told that I didn’t bother about what those people told me. But honestly, it was not the funding or other hundred stories they told that bothered me.

It was only one thing that bothered me. What is the type of company that you want to create? If you spent the rest of your life doing something, what should it be?

One that has a much bigger impact on people? Or one that could end up making a lot of money? Or one that could end up solving a much bigger pain? A small lifestyle oriented happy-go-lucky venture? Lots of free time to play with my daughter? Or gruelling work over the nights and weekends ploughing hard at a larger than life idea?

Blip. Darkness!

I found myself totally lacking in what the successful people call ‘vision’.

There was no horizon to look upto.

I had been happy-go-lucky until then. Suddenly life seemed complex. If you are a crusader, where’s your mission?

If you close your eyes, how do you visualize your company in 5-10-15 years?

What are you trying to build?

There simply hasn’t been a convincing answer.

It’s insanely crazy to be in this phase. And the itch is different now.

• Damn! What is my vision for this company?
• Damn! It’s embarrassing to not have a roadmap.
• When you look at the sky, what do you see?
• We’ve come this far. It’s nowhere near enough. Where do we go from here?

Hindsight, it’s good that the itch is evolving. It’s an indicator that you are growing. It’s painful sometimes. Like now. Especially, if you are impatient.

It’s like Groundhog day. I wake up trying to answer the same questions. Day-in and day-out.

Soon, this too shall pass. There will be a newer itch to tackle.